You left me so I locked the door.

You called me last night. Why?
You will never receive this letter and I know you are probably thinking that I really don't care jack squat about you. I'm writing this little letter, or whatever it can be, in the one spot I can be at peace and think straight -- outside on my porch. I'm struggling because I don't know how to say what I once told you over and over by the way you see my life now. Part of me wishes you were here with me so I could do this in person, but we both know that's impossible. So here I am, groping for words with anguish and sadness. I hope that you'll somehow forgive me for what I'm about to write...

Do you remember how we met? We met through school. We met through music. It was the kind of music that brings people together, but instead you made it the kind of music that tears everyone apart.
You hurt me. Guess what though? I'm over it. You and I did not share anything wonderful, and I want you to never forget that. Nor do I want you to believe that you meant as much to me as I did to you. You meant quite a lot to me but you didn't want that.

I know that sounds like an excuse, but please believe me when I say that I haven't forgotten about you. I'll understand if you never want to talk to me, though you randomly call me, just as I'll understand if you end up hating me again. Writing this letter forces me to acknowledge that, and when I look in the mirror, I know I'm looking at someone who is happy....without you...

The one I'm with shared and IS sharing everything that is wonderful. I want her to, and she does, to believe that she means more than anything to me as I do to her. She is rare and beautiful. I fell in love with her, but more than that, meeting her made me realize what true love really means. Ever since I met her, I've always been looking up into the night and remembering everything her and I have been through together. When I close my eyes, I see her face. When I walk, it's almost as if I can feel her hand in mine. Those things are real to me, a magical bond that keeps us together. You and I had nothing.


Even though you may not want to hear it, I want you to know that you'll always a spot in my memories. In our time together, you said that there was a special place in your heart for me to claim, one you said you would carry forever and that no one could have ever replaced. You lied. 


The one I love right now... There's a special place in my heart for her to claim, one I would carry forever with no one replacing it. The only difference between me and you is that...I'm not lying. I have never said that to you, nor will I ever. She's the kind and honest girl, but more than that, she's the first girl I ever truly love and care for. And no matter what the future brings, she will always be, and I know that my life is better for it. 


I don't hate you, but I hate you. You left me. My door is locked, so stop knocking. I won't answer. I have my special someone over.

I'm so sorry..

Sincerely, me.