Some thinking...

I was writing a letter to the lady, so I might as well just post it since I don't want to write my thoughts down again lols. I'll just change up a few words, like names and whatnot.


"You know what I was thinking during Church? I was standing in the
back behind the chairs my friend usually sit at. He sits next to the
special kids with the disabilities to watch over them. There are four
of them usually that sits in that area. I stood behind three of them.
One kid wore glasses and couldn't walk, so he had a wheelchair; the
other one didn't talk much but he liked to sing along with the choir;
the kid that stood out the most was the one being watched over a lot.
He would yell and cry very loud making a lot of the kids in mass look
back. You know what, though? We're lucky. The only reason those
special kids are like that is because they can't use their mind fully
and we can. Humans can only use, so far, 10% of our brains but those
kids did not make it to that number. I wonder how they will be when
they grow up to be adults. Like foster care, the orphans are only
taken care of til they are 18. When they turn 18 though, they can get
jobs and take care of themselves. The special kids can't. They grow
up, what can they do? Because of being handicapped, where will life
take them? What are they living to strive for? Just to survive? They
can't do the things they would wish to do. If they had dreams, it's
even more difficult to reach it, to grasp it in their hands. I
understand God wants us to all be different, but why did he make it
for those three kids to live like that? They don't feel it, but I
know the people around them feel embarrassed for them, they feel
sorry for them, they have pity for them. That's not what those kids
want. It's not what anyone wants. When mass was over my mom told me
how I would have been like that. At the age when she had me, there
were a lot of problems for her. I don't know what exactly but she
said it could have led me coming out, well, retarded. She told me
that the doctors recommended this procedure to check if I would come
out handicapped or not, but there could be a chance of me BEING
retarded FROM the procedure. My mom told me she said no. She would
rather have me come out handicapped than to be handicapped because of
the procedure. When I came out, I was choked by the umbilical cord
and was not breathing. Not only that, my whole body was red like a
tomato. I weighed 6lbs and might not live. My ass was smacked a
couple times, but an hour later, I started crying. Everyone,
including my mom, was relieved. To this day, I'm grateful for me not
only to not be disabled, but to be alive; especially to have You by
my side...But for the people who ARE disabled, there's one question I
want to ask God. Why? Why did you create them to live such hard
lives?"